Casual Liar

Lying is not one of my specialties. I just can’t help telling the truth sometimes. You know that game two truths and a lie? Well, I would always mess up because I would forget to tell a lie and say three truths instead. That’s not to say I can’t let out a little white lie every now and then, “What do you think of my new haircut? Oh, it looks amazing!” No, that’s not a problem. I let those out on a daily basis. In that sense, I’m uber comfortable with lying. As long as the lie has no long term consequences, why not lie? Sometimes, the truth can be a little boring so that’s when it’s time to spice things up with a couple of big, fat lies.

Last spring break, my dad and I went canoeing and camping down Buffalo River, Arkansas and ended in Hot Springs, AR. This area was particularly well known for their famous bathhouses and was a huge spa town. After the harrowing journey that my dad and I had just underwent (maybe for another blog), we were ready to relax.

I decided to get a massage while my dad went to the bathhouse. After I arrived at the spa and got changed, they called me in and revealed that my masseuse was a man. Not one to let gender roles define a career, I was like “Okay” and got ready to enjoy an hour of peace and quiet. But, this did not happen. Apparently, I got the Chatty Cathy of masseuses and this guy would not stop talking. Since I’m not big on confrontations, the only way to survive was to make conversation. At one point, the guy asked me what year I was, “I’m a sophomore.”

“Really? Where do you go to school?”

“Oh, well, I go to Uni in Champaign, Illinois.”

“Ah, the U of I?”

“Yeah, it’s right there.”

“Wow, what major are you?”

At that point, I realize that this guy thinks I’m in college. I quickly review and see if I should tell him the truth but eh, what the hell? So, I lie and tell him about my time in college, the professors, my major, and even the parties I went to. Turns out, I’m having a great time at college.

One hour later, the massage was over so I thanked him and left. That was it. There was no consequence from telling such a completely false story and no one could tell the difference. Can I say that I’m a comfortable liar? Sure. It’s all about maintaining an element of truth but twisting the rest so that the lie seems believable. I also think that there is need for some level of improvisation skills. Without it, when the lie is questioned, it will fall apart. While I obviously know how to tell a lie, that doesn’t mean I always will. Lying is one of those things I see as something to do only if I need to spice a story up or to be polite. Like, what if I told you I made that entire story up? What if it’s true but the details are altered? In the end, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a story after all.

Conceal, Don't Feel (unless it's Max)

*I'm not sure my conclusion rounds this paper out as well as I would like. Also, please watch some of my transitions since that's something I'm trying to work on.

You know that pop sound you can make with your mouth? You purse your lips together and then...Pop! It was super fun to do as a kid but now you’ve kind of grown old of it. Well, that was not the case for Max. This little punk is a member of my swim team and loves to make noise, especially when the coach is talking. Pop, pop, pop! Max sits smugly in the corner of his lane, trying to irritate anyone who pays attention to him. The coaches ignore him but I am starting to become irritated. I twitch with every little “Pop!” and I can practically feel my heart rate increasing. Max switches tactics. Now, he’s verbally attacking the coaches head on. “This set sucks! Why do I have to do this? You’re not the head coach, why do I have to listen to you? I don’t care!” and so on and so on.

All throughout this test, I have been silent. I know that I can destroy him since he is a puny thirteen-year old, but I remain in control. That is the only way to remain ahead. If I give up my self-control, then I am no better than Max. So, I simply turn to Max and say the same thing I always say when I am annoyed beyond belief with someone, “Please, be quiet.” It works for maybe ten seconds then Max is back at it, delightfully ignorant of the beast he continues to displease. Nevertheless, I stay strong and focus on my task. I take a deep breath and release my anger. Max is not worth it.

My rage for Max may appear alarming to some but it’s merely a side of myself that I tend to keep under wraps. In fact, I can count the number of angry outbursts that I’ve had on one hand. Even then, they mostly consist of yelling and then me storming away. If there’s one thing I hate doing, that is being upset. That’s why I’ve built a strong defense: self-control. With a strong sense of self-control, I can focus on what is important and not get distracted by other people or things (looking at you, doughnuts). In some cases, having a strong sense of self-control actually helps others more than myself.

For example, I’ve made sharks and minnows safer for newbies. In case you didn’t know, I am a swimmer. A particularly aggressive swimmer. So, when we are allowed to play sharks and minnows, I’m only in to win. If someone dares to try and catch me, I do every possible escape maneuver that you can imagine: the crocodile roll, wall escape, head butting, kicking, or just straight up grabbing the attacker by the arms and throwing them off. It wasn’t until one game when I got a tad too aggressive (ripped out two earrings and elbowed someone in the mouth) that I decided to make a change in my life.

No longer was I going to be that one crazy chick that has no restraint when playing a kids game. Instead, I was going to reform the way I play. Nowadays, I only play sharks and minnows if I have some sort of constraint. For instance, I can’t use my legs, wear goggles, or go underwater. In this way, more inexperienced swimmers get a chance to have fun and not get hurt in the process. 

All in all, I feel I have pretty good self-control. I mean, I still struggle with food, but who can’t resist chocolate? Otherwise, I finish my homework on time and always try to fall asleep at a reasonable hour. Of course, there’s times where I want to lose to let loose and do whatever I want, but it’s the realization that what you want may not be necessarily what you need and that’s the challenge to overcome.