Casual Liar

Lying is not one of my specialties. I just can’t help telling the truth sometimes. You know that game two truths and a lie? Well, I would always mess up because I would forget to tell a lie and say three truths instead. That’s not to say I can’t let out a little white lie every now and then, “What do you think of my new haircut? Oh, it looks amazing!” No, that’s not a problem. I let those out on a daily basis. In that sense, I’m uber comfortable with lying. As long as the lie has no long term consequences, why not lie? Sometimes, the truth can be a little boring so that’s when it’s time to spice things up with a couple of big, fat lies.

Last spring break, my dad and I went canoeing and camping down Buffalo River, Arkansas and ended in Hot Springs, AR. This area was particularly well known for their famous bathhouses and was a huge spa town. After the harrowing journey that my dad and I had just underwent (maybe for another blog), we were ready to relax.

I decided to get a massage while my dad went to the bathhouse. After I arrived at the spa and got changed, they called me in and revealed that my masseuse was a man. Not one to let gender roles define a career, I was like “Okay” and got ready to enjoy an hour of peace and quiet. But, this did not happen. Apparently, I got the Chatty Cathy of masseuses and this guy would not stop talking. Since I’m not big on confrontations, the only way to survive was to make conversation. At one point, the guy asked me what year I was, “I’m a sophomore.”

“Really? Where do you go to school?”

“Oh, well, I go to Uni in Champaign, Illinois.”

“Ah, the U of I?”

“Yeah, it’s right there.”

“Wow, what major are you?”

At that point, I realize that this guy thinks I’m in college. I quickly review and see if I should tell him the truth but eh, what the hell? So, I lie and tell him about my time in college, the professors, my major, and even the parties I went to. Turns out, I’m having a great time at college.

One hour later, the massage was over so I thanked him and left. That was it. There was no consequence from telling such a completely false story and no one could tell the difference. Can I say that I’m a comfortable liar? Sure. It’s all about maintaining an element of truth but twisting the rest so that the lie seems believable. I also think that there is need for some level of improvisation skills. Without it, when the lie is questioned, it will fall apart. While I obviously know how to tell a lie, that doesn’t mean I always will. Lying is one of those things I see as something to do only if I need to spice a story up or to be polite. Like, what if I told you I made that entire story up? What if it’s true but the details are altered? In the end, it doesn’t really matter. It’s just a story after all.